Monday, March 31, 2014

Things actually said:

So sometimes there are things said that I just can't believe left someone's mouth, I am leaving the WHO a secret, so here is a collection of some of the things that were said in the last week or so:

  • Apparently I can identify Mormons by the way they look

  • I have my best ideas when I am at that half hallucinating point of mom sleep deprivation

  • but there is still talk of kidnapping and lobotomy

  • is Proverbs the biblical equivalent of "you can't turn a hoe into a housewife"?

  • just FYI I just told my female Canadian friend I would marry her so she can have citizenship

  • I haven't had a napping child in at least 18 months....tell me stories....what's it like?

  • Damn you and your uterine bleeding!!

  • SO I remember thinking I was a hard ass once upon a time, and now I get my panties in a bunch over magazines and people's feelings. lol

Friday, March 28, 2014

Stop that. Start doing.

Do you ever just stop and wonder how you got so off course? I do that quite frequently, I am super easily distracted and I have never been able to have a set schedule no matter how hard I have tried. I started to realize some of my issues and I was not happy with what I saw.

MY PHONE. I hate admitting my smart phone is an issue, My late-husband and I never owned a smart phone, we actually had a slider phone on his mother's family plan that we shared. That's right, we didn't even have our own phones until I purchased a pre-paid smart phone in October of last year. I got that sucker and suddenly I was playing games, texting, and visiting facebook all to often. When I started to think of things I should do I would get distracted. "I need to do the dishes, but let me check my notifications first and then play on this game to catch up with my friends."

MY LAPTOP. I purchased a chromebook in January and suddenly I had another problem on my hands, I could sit my lazy ass on the sofa and do all of the things on the internet I couldn't do on the desktop because of the uncomfortable chair. I swear using one of the dining chairs that was here when I moved in as a computer chair was one of the best things I could have ever done, it made me get up when my butt went numb and start doing something else. When I got the chromebook I was sitting comfortably wasting time doing crap online when I should have been taking care of my house.

MY LIFE. This might be hard for someone outside of the situation to understand but I was married to Jeff for 5 years and he was sick for all of that time, but he wasn't diagnosed until a few months into the marriage, although I have no doubt that the cancer was there before we found it. Being married to a cancer patient is hard, we had bi-weekly appointments that I did not miss (until developing agoraphobia and panic disorder) and treatments that lasted for days causing him to be ill and leaving me to care for our home and children on my own. The last year of his life was an increasingly difficult time as he developed more and more debilitating symptoms and his personality and strength faded away. I stressed about taking care of the kids and home while he was alive and worried about what it would be like once he died, because we already knew he would die in the near future, we just weren't aware of how near that future would be, Once he passed away in November I had no sick husband to care for, I still had the kids and home but in comparison to what was on my plate before it was nothing. I found myself testing the waters of being lazy, sleeping in, and ordering out more than needed. I didn't quite see that it was grief making me retreat from my life, but the time I had previously invested into him needed to be channeled into something I was passionate about.

SO. What did I do? I stopped messing with my phone, I deleted the apps I would play and turned off notifications for my facebook on my phone. I now make "deals" with myself that if I completed such and such task I could get online and check my email and facebook. Then I began leaving the chromebook upstairs, I only use it once the kids are asleep and I am in bed myself. I originally purchased it so I could do my writing and I only have time to do that at night so why bother bringing it downstairs into the living areas to tempt me? Also, I reevaluated my life, I became really close with a friend who has amazing faith and started to question my own.

After losing my husband at 27 and having two young children you would think that my faith would be shaken and destroyed but in all honesty it is stronger than it ever was before. I see that in losing my husband, who I was heavily co-dependent on, I have begun to nurture my strength and I am overcoming my anxiety and agoraphobia. In being the only person my children have (in the home) I have been forced to face my fears and push through panic to achieve some normalcy in our lives. Again, my amazing friend is helping me take these baby steps that allows me to expand my limits and learn that I have more power over this than I ever believed before.

So if you need to balance your life I say go for it. Evaluate what you need to STOP (excessive phones, computers, and laziness) and what you need to START (setting goals, making schedules, pushing boundaries) and make your life a better one for you and your family.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Murphy, your law isn't welcome here!

I start each night the same way, I put Avery to bed and once he is settled I move on to Aedan. While in Avery's room last night I heard a shriek from the hallway that made me bolt for the door, well there was nothing in the hallway...I peeked in Aedan's bedroom, nothing. I peeked in my sewing room, nothing. I peeked in my bedroom, also nothing. That left one room...the bathroom...and it clicked!

The damn door. We had to adjust the door because it drug against the carpet when we moved in, ever since then it acted like it was locked even when it wasn't which required jiggling and shaking and curse words to open. I stood outside the bathroom door and shouted for Aedan, he was indeed stuck behind the stubborn locked/not actually locked door so I began the shimmy shimmy shake on the handle to free my trapped child.


It wasn't happening. I tried a credit card, butter knife, and screwdriver in the door frame to push the lock from that side, NOPE. I used to be good at this, I was a delinquent and broke into my childhood home multiple times when rolling in at 4 am without my house key and those were external locks not a simple indoor knob. I am slipping in my old age, or maybe it is the fact that I am such a housewife now, regardless, I am off my game.

who's that peeking out at me?

I ended up taking the doorknob off and attempting to pop the lock mechanism out of the hole keeping the door shut, that is another big NOPE. I bet Aedan was trapped in there for a good fifteen minutes before I got him to hold his side of the door knob while I reattached my side and finally got enough jiggle to free my child. I then took the door knob back off to prevent anyone from getting stuck in there again, looks like we will be going to the hardware store to get a new knob.

Friday, March 21, 2014

It's Spring, get outside NOW!!!

I am all about staying inside on my butt playing video games, but after this "Forever Winter", that I can only imagine came about from too many people watching the bootleg version of Frozen, I was thrilled to finally get outside and bask in the sun for a while.

Avery, my younger son, was ready to go outside. He bolted for the door in nothing but his diaper because he is a nudist. My older son, Aedan, sat watching YouTube video game tutorials and refused to come out until I stomped, yelled, and threatened to turn the computer off.

After both of them were outside we filled some tubs with water and added some fizzy colored tablets to make them turn colors, then I gave the kids a dozen or so "tools" to use to play in said water. The kids splashed and played until the yard and half the porch was covered in water and bubble solution and then we headed inside.

I am glad to have gotten out and seen the sun but now I am dealing with a headache from the brightness. I plan to spend the rest of the evening watching tv with my kiddos and eating Pasta Chips, the Marinara ones are fabulous and my kids think they taste like pizza. YUM!

Now I am off to enjoy some family time and see what tomorrow holds for us.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

How a three year old can ruin your day.

I had started to feel like I was coasting, things just happened, nothing seemed like work and then suddenly my youngest turned three and my world went spinning out of control.

Somehow I had forgotten how difficult my other child was at three, there must be something that gives you amnesia or else people's first child would turn three and then they would be done. Maybe that's it, my first was just about to turn two when my youngest was born, there was still a year until all hell broke loose.

SO.... How did my three year old ruin my day?

First off, this starts at the night before when he went to bed at the normal bedtime, in bed by 8pm asleep by 8:30. I made a few phone calls and did some dishes  I woke up and felt pretty good, I threw on a simple dress I bought after I had my first son and I noticed that I am slimmer than I was then, so I went to my tall mirror and thought I would strike a pose. Vanity is bad, I wanged my elbow on the door frame and got a nice shock, it took a good ten minutes to get rid of the tingle in my funny bone.

I decided to move on with my day, who cares what I look like? Nobody I saw. I found some frozen strawberries and thought the kids might like some milkshakes, after making sure the mixture was just perfect for the littles I brought their cups in and my youngest just said "NO!" I had to ask "No, what?" and he then proceeded to tell me how he didn't like milkshakes and I should go get him a cup of plain ol' milk. Whatever.

Now that I feel like I am waiting for the next bad thing to happen my day might go better, but that is what I get for feeling to confident just out of bed.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Nerd Block Jr

Nerd Blocks are our favorite subscription boxes, ever since my oldest had the dream of having a youtube channel we decided to record the kids unboxing the goodies. This month I had planned to do the first Nerd Block Jr boxes (one for girl and boy) with my friend E's kids, but my boys got to them first. The boy box was crushed and bulged open on one side but the girl box arrived safe and sound.

I still have no idea why they wouldn't have a gender neutral box so that made me order one of each gender themed box because frankly my boys like so many things deemed "girly" by society. This month the boys actually liked the girl box more than the boy one, but nevertheless here is our spur of the moment video of the unboxing. Had I had more time to prepare it would have been better set up.

Monday, March 17, 2014

You can give me advice but you can't make me take it.

Have you ever heard non-parents give parenting advice? You can usually tell by the sound of ignorant confidence in their voice, when it comes to knowing how kids will change your life ignorance is truly bliss. I remember thinking I knew what it would be like to have kids, I was a nanny for three years, I had experience.


There is nothing about babysitting, being a nanny, visiting your niece/nephew/cousin that actually compares to having your own child. I never expected the crying....all night crying....I know babies cry but I had no idea the way their extended wails could crumble my nerves to rubble and make me sob while I attempted to rock them to sleep.

I also recall seeing kids in stained clothes and thinking that my kids would never wear stained clothing, they wouldn't look like we were extras from Newsies, and I was right. My wonderfully stubborn children have both refused to wear a stitch of clothing from ages 2-4. Avery may only be three but he shows no sign of breaking this habit anytime soon, imagine how many times I have had to explain to company that is just isn't worth the fight or the time spent washing the clothes they rip off and dirty.

Now as the single parent of two boys I get the most advise from people without children of their own, or even people with only one child. Do you know why parents of multiple children don't comment with their advice? It's because they are too damn busy attempting to get through another day of every child being in a different phase with new challenges, and they know better than anyone that there is no magic thing to do to make it all better.

I know the childless people seem the obvious ones to be frustrated with, but I get MORE frustrated with the ones with just one kid, these are worse in my opinion because they know how to handle their one child but have yet to experience two (or more) kids screaming about different things on opposite ends of the house possibly covered in sticky, nasty, substances.

One kid can be difficult, but when you bring siblings into the mix there are situations that are just downright impossible. I have had to choose between the child playing with scissors and the one with diarrhea flowing out of their diaper. Imagine being paralyzed in shock for the first five seconds attempting to quickly figure out what is more important when one kids is dropping your jewelry into the vents and the other is attempting to climb the entertainment center. Once I had to pick which child got stung by a wasp, I ended up getting the wasp off my four month old as my three year old got stung, but I figured that he was older and much larger so if he were to have a reaction I would have the ability to dose him with antihistamine and get help rather than my baby not being able to take medicine.

I know some of these people who give me advice are wondering why I never took their advice, and honestly I usually try it a few times, but there is no "right answer" and some things simply won't work for some kids. If someone doesn't stick with your idea just let it go, they have bigger fish to fry.

Saturday, March 15, 2014


It's incredibly cool the way things happen sometimes, after my kids lost their dad we had kind of stopped playing Skylanders together. They usually played that game with him, and he was the one that took them to the store all the time to track down all of the figures we didn't have. I decided not to pressure them into doing things that reminded them of him, but one day changed our outlook on Skylanders forever.

I get a TON of packages since I am an online shopping addict and I have done product reviews for years, so it is never a huge deal to get unexpected packages. One day I opened the door to find a few packages I was expecting along with one that was from Activision.

I wasn't expecting anything from them, especially since I didn't even make it to the Family Game Summit which fell on the day my husband passed. When I opened the box I found two employee exclusive Skylanders for my kids, both were the same one, Snowderdash.

With these figures was a letter that was very nice:

 Hi Aedan and Avery,
 A friend of mine let me know that you two were really into Skylanders, which is one of the games my company makes. I got these ultra-rare Snowederdash figures and I think you would really enjoy being their new buddies. They are so rare you can't even buy them, so make your friends jealous. :)
 Best Wishes,
    Your Friend at Activision

I remember fawning over employee exclusive Skylanders before, they would be on eBay for $500-1000 and were just too much for us to invest in at the time, but that day I felt like my husband was happy for my boys, they now have something unique and super collectible to go with their other 100+ Skylander figurines. Yes, we opened them both, I could never have given one to both of them to share, this is so special I think they each deserved to have their own.

So to the employee at Activision, whoever you are, THANK YOU. You made my children so happy and renewed their love for a game they had attached to the memory of their father. To this day they tell people that their Daddy sent them these figures from heaven, and they keep them close.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Death of a Mom Blogger

Well not death, that is a strong word considering I am a widow, let's go with "rebirth". Yes, that sounds new aged and hippy enough to satisfy my crunchy side while making my nerd side ponder what form of rebirth it is. I am kind of hoping it is Doctor Who style.

I have been a blogger for five years, I have written posts hoping to get the attention of pr reps and make it big, I have done posts for review product, coupons, money, and flat out nothing. I have sold my soul for a measly vacuum and I wish to be free of the prison of doing things only for a review. Not that I don't like reviewing RELEVANT things, toys are great, video games are wonderful, and if I could go to GenCon or meet Chris Hemsworth I might sell a kidney...anyway.

Do you know what I want to write about? Everything! My life, my kids, our adventures, my cat, the weather, video games I play, comic books and graphic novels, regular books and regular novels, smut, my crazy friends and family, the conversations I have with my crazy friends, philosophy, the infield fly rule, crafts, crap I found on Facebook while I should have been parenting, things my kids said while they should have been sleeping, and beef jerky.

 I am a single parent after being widowed and I have more snarky and bitter comments than you can shake a stick at. I absolutely love the finer things in life, if by finer things you mean Marvel Comics, Doctor Who, and video games. I used to strive to be a perfect housewife and mother, but I see that I will never be a June Cleaver, I have a better shot at being a meat cleaver. I would deny myself the pleasure of the geeky things in my life but now I see that all the times I hid it there was no point, I can be perfectly happy hopped up on coffee singing show tunes while I do dishes. 

Does Dr. Horrible count as show tunes? It was a musical....

The craziest thing has happened since I gave up on the illusion of being the perfect homemaker, my kids are happy! Didn't my house fall to shambles and my life turn upside down? Well, a little bit. At one point today I noticed that every dish in the house was dirty, but we had Pokemon plates left from my son's birthday party so we carried on, the dishes got done after dinner and the kids continued being happy. Why would I want to stress out just because my life has changed in almost every way possible? Each day is a new adventure and I am going to be myself and teach my children it is best for them to be themselves.